Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/1509769
A B M P m e m b e r s ea r n F R E E C E h o u r s by rea d i n g t h i s i s s u e ! 75 It's not unusual for me to spend 50 percent of a first visit talking, but mostly listening. As far as I know, not one person has ever felt cheated that they didn't get enough treatment time. On the contrary, clients are usually grateful when they feel seen and heard. Some feel validated in a way they never have, and that's important. THE BIG QUESTION Regardless of what strategies, protocols, and assessments you were taught, when you're dealing with people with multiple symptoms, complex conditions, and chronic pain, it can be difficult to figure out the best place to start. I've found that most times, the best thing you can do is ask. I often pose this question: "If you could have one thing different when you walk out that door, what do you want it to be?" While it might seem scary to ask that question, I've found the effect can be profound. People don't expect it. In that moment, they realize what they feel truly matters to me in a way that goes GETTING TO "THAT STUFF" I rarely read through new client paperwork before I see them. I find that when I do, I start to create a picture of who they are before I meet them, and that picture is often wrong. While their paperwork is helpful to go back to later, many clients like to speed through it. Details and nuances are often not there, so I prefer to talk. For many people, talking about their "stuff" isn't easy. Some are tired from talking through the shopping list of their accidents, injuries, and procedures. Some worry they sound whiny. Some are angry about the ways they have been mistreated, like being blamed by other professionals for not getting better results. Some are afraid they aren't "fixable." Most people are a combination of some or all of the above. Just as people need to feel that there's physical space for them to be in the room, we also need to make conversational space. One of the best ways to do that is with silence. When someone drops some heavy information and stops, do you feel like you have to fill the empty space? Next time, let the pause in the conversation be there for a few beats. Take a moment to absorb what they just told you. Sometimes they'll fill the space for you. When they don't, it's your turn. Ask an open-ended question that elicits more information than a yes or no. Communication experts also recommend avoiding phrases like "I know" or "I understand." It's likely that you've never been through exactly what a client has described (unless you actually have). In that instance, it might be OK to offer that connection and follow up with something like, "Do you feel that loss physically, somewhere in your body?" Even when you're empathizing, always turn it back to them—it's always about them. 2 TAKEAWAY: I often pose this question: "If you could have one thing different when you walk out that door, what do you want it to be?"