Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/72195
QUESTIONS ABOUT PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES AND ETHICS? CONTACT NINA MCINTOSH AT 877-327-0600 OR VISIT WWW.EDUCATEDHEART.COM. my willingness to make a rare special arrangement for this client should have been a red flag to me. I should have paid attention to my apprehension about her by either not taking her as a client or, at least, not giving her a special deal. Not every client who wants you to make an exception will be mentally ill, but some mentally disturbed people are very good at manipulating others and pushing guilt buttons. When you feel within a short time of meeting them that you have to bend over backwards to placate new clients, or you start feeling responsible for them in some way, those are warning signs. SET POLICIES AHEAD OF TIME Often when we end up with a troublesome situation, the problem can be traced back to making small exceptions. You came in on a holiday, you worked an hour and a half for an hour's pay. We end up not only setting a bad precedent for the client, but, depending on the circumstances, practitioners can end up tired from working on their day off, annoyed with themselves because they worked with someone who was disrespectful, or resentful of a client who they felt took advantage of them. In the long run, it's not good for us or for our practices. We all make exceptions; especially for clients we've known a long time. We can make exceptions for long-term clients with less risk than we can for new clients because we've already established a solid relationship and there's less chance of them misunderstanding or taking advantage of the situation. What should you do to make sure Run the Math If you've been practicing for a while and don't have set guidelines for fees, hours, and such matters, then I urge you to give yourself that security. Even if you plan to work for someone else, before you look for a job it would be a good idea to figure out how much you need to be paid to support yourself, what your limits would be for work hours, and what kind of client you wouldn't be willing to work with. That will give you a better idea of whether your prospective employer's offer is a match for you. you don't end up in the bothersome situations I've experienced? The best rule is to decide what your policies are, and then be very careful about making exceptions to them. If you decide ahead of time when and for whom you would feel comfortable making an exception, you'll be less likely to be swayed by a charming client who wants special favors or an aggressive client who has a hard time hearing no. Be careful of the little voice that tells you that this client is special and can't be held to your usual standards. Of course, all our clients are special. That's why we want to provide the safety of a consistent structure for them as well as for ourselves. We need to make decisions based on our values and what's best for the professional relationships. Those kinds of decisions are best made before you even talk with a client on the phone—and best not changed without a great deal of soul- searching about why you would do so. A friend of mine has come up with a saying to remind herself to resist others' attempts to manipulate her to do something she knows isn't in her best interest: "Dare to disappoint." In the end, you'll be a lot less disappointed yourself. years of experience as a bodyworker with her previous years as a psychiatric social worker. She is the author of The Educated Heart: Professional Boundaries for Massage Therapists, Bodyworkers, and Movement Teachers. To learn more about professional boundaries and ethics, visit www. educatedheart.com. Contact Nina at editor@ abmp.com. Nina McIntosh combines more than 20 To learn more about illustrator Mari Gayatri Stein, visit www.gypsydogpress.com. massagetherapy.com—for you and your clients 129