Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/68175
REFINE YOUR TOUCH emotion we deal with when working deeply with our clients. The first few minutes of your session can be your major ally in allaying the fear and bodily tension caused by this emotion. Following are some suggestions for consideration. One person's pain may be another person's pleasure. Your skill will be in determining the effective zone between too conservative work, which may be interpreted as ineffective, or too goal-oriented and aggressive work, which will not only remove the pleasure of receiving bodywork, but will decrease your effectiveness as clients resist your pressure. Recently, I was working very deeply with a client in a particularly recalcitrant area when she suddenly volunteered, "You have such a comforting touch!" I was a bit surprised at such a nice compliment because I'm often concerned that I sacrifice a soft touch when I become over-focused on the outcome of my work, and I was concerned that I was approaching her pain threshold. So I asked her if she could explain what she meant. She responded: "Well, first, I always feel safe, so I can relax knowing that you know your anatomy and precautions and that you are always tuned into how I'm accepting the work. Mostly, your hands, elbows, and all your tools seem 'soft,' even when you're working hard or very deeply, and you always let me determine how fast I can let go. Sometimes there might even be something that could feel like pain, but it seems necessary. I feel that it is more like the pain when my mother would remove a splinter—kind of intense, but really giving a feeling of relief and actually comfort." In a nutshell, she said what I've tried to teach for the past 20 years: the sensations your clients receive are a function of your relationship with them 36 massage & bodywork july/august 2010 and their trust of your competence, the specifics of your mechanical skill, your sensitivity to their reactions, and the focus of your attention to removing tension in areas of holding. YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CLIENT Pain does not exist in a vacuum. Much of our perception of this sensation is influenced by context, as in my client's analogy of removing a splinter. Of course, the mechanics of your techniques—including speed, pressure, direction, and depth of work —are major factors, but the context of your relationship with your clients and your intention can provide the confidence and feeling of being cared for that can make the difference between a tense struggle or a relaxed and easy session as your clients realize the benefits from a mutually focused commitment to solve problems. Since our bodies and minds are conditioned to interpret pain as the messenger that says "Something is wrong here," fear is often a primary ESTABLISH RAPPORT It's crucial to build a relationship with your clients based on mutual trust and connection. Taking time to chat with them, especially if it is the first time you have seen them, can set the tone of everything you do in the session. Just a few minutes of relaxed conversation can let your client feel like a person you actually care about on a personal level, rather than a set of symptoms. CULTIVATE CONFIDENCE Incrementally introducing your skills and working style can help ease the process. Rather than immediately beginning work on sensitive or troublesome areas, address areas that will feel good to lower the fight-or- flight charge in the nervous system. Let your clients become familiar and relaxed with your touch in areas where they feel safe before venturing into more thorny territory. Explain the rationale behind your strategies, especially in sensitive areas, and communicate that you realize the area may sometimes be uncomfortable and that you appreciate how they are working with you. Intense therapy with a clear intention will be perceived very differently from work that appears to be insensitive and without a purpose. The most important gift of trust you can give to your clients is the knowledge you will stop immediately if they ask you to. However, there is a delicate balance between being receptive to feedback and relinquishing your control of the session and appearing to be less than confident. Constantly asking your client if the