Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/68016
HEART OF BODYWORK Furthermore, trading or bartering with a friend makes it a triple relationship based on the massage you give, the in-kind service or object in return, and the friendship. That's very tricky. Also, if something goes wrong, you may damage or lose the friendship. As you admitted, you have difficulty saying no. Perhaps setting limits hasn't been a major problem before; but now that you're getting more requests for special deals, your basic reluctance to set boundaries is creating havoc in your work life. This presents a great opportunity to toughen up (in a good way) and learn how to take better care of yourself and your clients. After all, clients feel more secure when they know what our boundaries are. MAKING TRADES AND BARTERS EASIER I'll give you some ideas for how to get out of the mess you're in now, but for the future, my first suggestion is never to agree to trades or barters. That would solve the problem. On the other hand, despite the complications, occasionally such arrangements work out well for both parties. If you decide to do a trade or barter every now and then, here are ways to make it more likely that you'll have a mutually beneficial exchange. SPEll ouT ThE dETailS ahEad oF TiME Being completely clear from the beginning is by far the most important step to take when bartering. You could say to your friend or whoever you're setting such an arrangement up with, "Sometimes we don't really know what the other person wants until we get into the details. I've found that it works best to be very clear up front about what each of us is expecting." Once the terms are worked out, the best way to proceed is to put them in writing. Being completely clear from the beginning is by far the most important step to take when bartering. Here are some details you might want to be specific about: • If it's a trade, is it OK for either of you to cancel at the last minute if you get a paying customer? • If the other person doesn't charge the same fee as you, are you trading session for session or value for value? If you charge $80 per session and the chiropractor you're trading with charges $40 per session, would it feel fairer if you agree to two of his sessions for one of yours? • What happens if one of you decides to end the trade before it has equaled out? You've agreed to trade three massages for 10 yoga classes. You've given three massages and only taken five classes. Now you've decided you don't want the rest of the classes. Does the yoga teacher owe you the difference? If so, must he or she pay you in cash, and how soon? One of the advantages of wanting to work things out ahead of time is that it gives you a chance to see whether the other person will agree to terms you think are fair. If not, you can say, "Sorry, this doesn't work for me" and be grateful you didn't go further. It's also a good idea when negotiating a trade to agree to provide only a few sessions. Say that you'll trade for three sessions, for instance. Then, if you're not happy with the other person's work, you can gracefully bow out. If it turns out to be a mutually workable trade, you can negotiate an extension. 116 massage & bodywork november/december 2009