Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/621015
she weaned her baby, but then it was too late to halt the cancer's spread. A dying man whose wife told me he had been abusive throughout their marriage. That last was a challenge to my efforts to be present for everyone I work with, but not as much of a challenge as another patient turned out to be. He was in his bed resting when I arrived in his hospital room, with a prison guard sitting in the corner. The patient was a Vermont inmate, serving a long sentence for rape, a sentence his liver cancer wouldn't allow him to complete. I may have had less compassion in my heart for that session than I normally do. TRAINING VERSUS FEELING I've been asked if people need to be trained in oncology massage before offering massage to oncology patients, and most people probably assume that answer is yes. But it depends on what you mean by trained. As I mentioned, an unprecedented number of massage therapists are going through oncology massage programs now. But as it happens, none of the massage therapists I currently have under contract in The Hand to Heart Project have had oncology massage training, although one is a licensed practical nurse who began her nursing career in oncology before transitioning to providing massage to cancer patients. However, they all have life and work experience that makes them well-suited to the task. I've talked with people who have had oncology massage training whom I would have confidence referring a cancer patient to; I've met others who seem to be more focused on the technical side of oncology massage than the human side. There certainly are important things to learn about working with people with cancer, but the question brings to mind a realization I had some time ago: when I work with people through The Hand to Heart Project, the skills I draw on are less about working on a person who has cancer, and more about being with a person who is suffering. It's the suffering part that is so important. We are all suffering, even if the suffering can appear uneven from person to person. Everyone we touch is suffering. Every massage is a connection with someone else's suffering—a connection between theirs and yours. It's in that space between that important work is done. Working with people facing illness has changed my relationship with my own mortality; I think I'm more accepting, even while I hope my life is a very long way from ending. I have had relationships of profound depth that I never had— never could have had—in my years at newspapers. Some of the most amazing relationships I've ever had have been the shortest. It's also true that I have found myself in many situations that didn't come up in my massage training. I have lost a lot of people I came to care a great deal about, which can weigh heavily. Even though there have been hundreds of such deaths, I almost think I could name them all. I couldn't, I know—it just feels that way. And there have been lesser challenges. Twice I have had to help people up off the toilet before a session because they didn't have the HAND TO HE ART When I work with people through The Hand to Heart Project, the skills I draw on are less about working on a person who has cancer, and more about being with a person who is suffering. C h e c k o u t A B M P 's l a t e s t n e w s a n d b l o g p o s t s . Av a i l a b l e a t w w w. a b m p . c o m . 95