Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/621015
C h e c k o u t A B M P 's l a t e s t n e w s a n d b l o g p o s t s . Av a i l a b l e a t w w w. a b m p . c o m . 37 "I am super self-conscious. The thought of being naked on a massage table just makes me shake. Finally, I resolved to make an investment in my health and well-being, because, well, maybe I really am worth the trouble. "So I went online to see what kind of massage therapist I should look for. And what did I find? MTs making fun of clients with hairy backs and complaining about smelly feet. I saw mean comments about overweight clients, clients with acne, and clients with body odor. "I never want to be that kind of target. Forget it. Massage might be OK for some people, but it's definitely not for me." We will never know how often this happens. We will never see the clients who reject massage therapy out of a fear of being judged or laughed at—only to have those very fears validated when they stumble on a just-for-fun post or hear insensitive words from a would-be therapist. Sometimes that laughter and judgment is on public display, like in open Facebook groups. Sometimes communication of judgment is far subtler. Either way, the end result is the same: a potential client who might derive wonderful benefit from massage therapy feels excluded, unworthy, and possibly rightfully angry, especially when the reasons behind the problems are common situations that could affect anyone. "I have psoriasis. My skin is discolored and flaky and itchy, especially on my back." "I have hypothyroidism. No matter how hard I try, I will never be thin." "I used to be anorexic. Now, I work hard to eat right, but having someone comment on how thin I am is a real trigger for me." "I am a smoker. I have tried to quit, I know the risks, and I've heard all the lectures. Right now, I just have to admit that I am not strong enough to change this part of my life, but maybe I can change some other things." WHAT IS THE SOURCE OF YOUR DISCOMFORT? Feeling uncomfortable because a client has a physical flaw does not make you a bad person. It does suggest, however, that it would serve you well to ask why that person or situation is difficult for you. Try to narrow down where your discomfort comes from; this will give you much better tools to deal with it. A brief and very simplified chart of examples can be found in the chart on page 38. WHAT NOT TO DO: A SHORT LIST Share Thoughtless Comments in Public Places Sometimes it makes sense to vent our strong feelings. This allows us to discharge them so that we can be more effective and less distracted in our work. However, complaining about our clients is never appropriate in any setting that may get back to them. And online posts and tweets, no matter how "private" they may be, are not safe from that danger: the only thing between you and the client you mocked is one screen capture. Further, even when clients are not identified by name, anyone who connects the timing of your posts to the entries in your appointment book could make an argument that you are in both ethical and legal breach of confidentiality laws. Be aware that Facebook and Twitter are not the only places thoughtless jokes or comments can become public. I have wandered into a fair number of clinic break rooms with comics on the bulletin board that would appall a self-conscious client. Not only do these postings endanger our clients' sense of safety and well- being, they also create a culture where this kind of mockery is institutionalized and made acceptable. It is not. Make Unasked-For Comments About Your Client's Body Watch what comes out of your mouth. Thoughtfully consider every word you might say, and listen to those words from your client's ears. Your polite, un- charged "wow, your shoulders are tight" can sound like the end of the world to someone who is wound up and self- conscious. Even a comment meant to be positive and supportive like, "Have you been losing weight? You look great!" can be perceived as judgmental if the client is sensitive about his size. Be aware that this caution refers to unasked-for commentary. When we have been invited to be a part of someone's health journey, for instance when they share their bodybuilding goals and massage is part of their strategy, then the rules are different. UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD Most of us enter this profession with a desire to serve, to be a conduit for healing, and to be a positive influence. We all want to make the world a better place one massage at a time. Unconditional positive regard for each and every client is the baseline attitude with which we must begin each session. This applies to rich clients and the struggling ones; those who smell like a rose, and those who definitely do not; those who respond quickly and satisfyingly to our work, and those who need us to keep trying something else. Working in the sacred bubble of the massage space limits our ability to share our experiences with our peers—both our triumphs and our challenges. I believe this is a contributor to the occasional embarrassing body-shaming memes that appear on Facebook and elsewhere. All these feelings accumulate, and then they are expressed in inappropriate ways. People have flaws. We do, they do, everyone does. In our job, we will deal with cellulite, bad breath,