Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/588318
As a client, I was using words to find connection with the person who was touching my body. And by refusing to engage me in conversation (however briefly), or acknowledge what I'd said, he conveyed that he was in charge of the session, not me. It was to be all on his terms. I felt my body brace slightly and withdraw. I became less receptive to his work. He just continued on, as if he didn't notice that the work wasn't working. While I tried to "just receive" for several more minutes, I ended the session early. I wonder what might have happened if he had said, "Let's end a few minutes early, and I'll show you," or, "Let's schedule a different time for that." I certainly think I would have been more comfortable with him and more responsive to his work. Our clients talk to us during sessions for good reasons. They want to connect, give and receive information, gauge how safe they are, and, yes, maybe even distract themselves a bit from some difficult sensations that arise as part of their process. But those are all good reasons. You may be familiar with asking yourself, "Am I speaking right now for my benefit or my client's?" Consider also asking yourself, "Do I want my clients to be quiet for their benefit or for mine?" By enforcing silence, we may not be helping our clients connect with their tissues; we may actually be encouraging them to shut down. They may not be able to ask directly for what they need. They may not be skillful in giving feedback. Most people are not well versed in navigating therapeutic relationships. But we should be. We set the tone, create the boundaries, and can help our clients use our work to meet their core needs in a safe way. Our words (yes, even chatting about a television show) can be useful tools to help a client stay in the present moment. The point is not to stop them from talking, but to help them communicate with us. The key is to pay attention to tissue, resist our natural human fascination with story, and, especially, avoid interpretation. There are the contents of our speech and, then, there is everything else that's happening. Keeping track of this during a session can seem like walking and chewing gum and patting your head and rubbing your belly all at once, but it's doable. Your best feedback instruments are your hands. Regardless of the subject matter, always keep track of what the tissue under your hands feels like. Is it receptive to your touch? Is it responding to the work? Or do you feel the tissue tensing, recoiling? Engage all your senses. Can you maintain an awareness of your client's breath and tone of voice? Can you register the difference between a client who is relaxed and silent on the table, a client who is silent and actively engaged in her process, and a client who is silent and checked out, irritated with what you're doing, or not in connection with herself or her body? CHALLENGING TECHNIQUE OR SENSATION Many of us employ techniques that can be challenging for our clients. Depth, friction, and stretch are some of the sensations that can produce a guarding response. Everyone has a unique threshold for discomfort, and physical sensations are more manageable when we feel connected, feel like we have some control, and are mentally relaxed. Speech is an essential tool here, because it helps us assess how a client is responding to the work, and it also gives that client more input into how the work progresses. Talk with your client when using a technique that may be challenging or when working in an area that may be sensitive. Explain what you're doing and why, communicate about touch and pressure, and ask her to tell you how it feels and what might be more helpful. You'll know you're on the right track when the tissue engages and responds, and you're able to stay within your client's tolerance. THE CHECKED-OUT CLIENT There's a difference between being deeply relaxed, asleep even, and being checked out and unaware of your body. But for many clients, "checked out" is all they know, and they equate it with relaxation. Can you feel the difference as you work? I think it's vitally important because it helps you keep your clients safe. For instance, in deep-tissue work, it's not safe for a client to be out of touch with her body sensations. The work could be too light to be effective or, worse, too deep and injure her. 86 m a s s a g e & b o d y w o r k n o v e m b e r / d e c e m b e r 2 0 1 5