Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/230373
CHOOSE YOUR YESSES schedule time for your own wellness activities. "I make sure to set aside time to get bodywork on a regular basis through trade," Walton says. "I also do regular cardio and strength training. Working out maintains my physical and emotional energy." Personal Values Most therapists have no trouble saying "no" to requests for sexual favors. But it may be harder to handle requests for medical or psychological advice, especially if you've forged a close relationship with a regular client. "Sometimes a client may give me their complete medical history because they're expecting me to heal them," Walton says. "They're asking for medical advice I can't give." Explain the limits of your knowledge, then refer the client to someone with the right expertise. "The most important thing you can do is to create a collaborative network of professionals in the healing industry whose skills complement the services you offer," MacDonald says. Make connections with a yoga instructor, an acupuncturist, an essential oils expert, a naturopath, a physical therapist, and a marriage and family therapist. "You may want to swap services with these professionals so they get to know your practice and you get to know theirs," MacDonald says. "That way you'll feel comfortable referring clients to each other." If you acknowledge the importance of boundaries but still fear conflict, rejection, or feeling guilty, rest assured that "boundary setting gets easier with practice," Sterner says. Say "no" to something small, with someone who's not likely to become aggressive. If someone pushes back on your boundaries, repeat your response. "This lets people know you are serious about your boundaries and keeps you focused," Sterner says. "You may never really enjoy setting boundaries, but your confidence will go up and your fear will come down. It just takes some time and perseverance." Heidi Smith Luedtke, PhD, is a personality psychologist who loves to help people with everyday problems in business, personal relationships, and parenting. She lives in Alexandria, Virginia, with her husband and two young children. Contact her at heidi@heidiluedtke.com. How to Say "No" Find the Right Time It's best to set boundaries when you're well rested and calm, not when you're under pressure and overwhelmed. "The energy and mindset that you go into the conversation with can really affect the outcome," says massage therapist and business owner Lily Starling. "Get yourself grounded first." Choose the Right Place You may have to assert yourself over email, by phone, or in a face-to-face conversation, depending on the situation. Always protect clients' privacy. Extremely sensitive issues should not be discussed in email or voice mail, which may be accessed by others. Hold personal conversations in private to avoid putting a client on the spot in front of other people. Word Up There are lots of ways to soften a "no" without backing down. Try these lines: • "I'm sorry, but I won't be able to …" • "It's against my policy to …" • "I can't make that work on my end …" • "I'm not available at that time. I could schedule an appointment for …" • "That isn't a service I offer. I can refer you to …" • "I wouldn't recommend that kind of work in your situation. We could try …" It pays to be ABMP Certified: www.abmp.com/go/certifiedcentral 79