Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/1519088
82 m a s s a g e & b o d y wo r k m ay/ j u n e 2 0 24 Walking the Fine Line of Friendship and Therapist By Cal Cates In a recent peer support meeting, one of my colleagues shared that an older client of hers thanked her "for the excellent massage . . . and the friendship." My colleague was stunned and a bit unprepared for this second appreciation. She had seen this client for many years, but never really thought of their relationship as a friendship. She was left wondering where she had gone wrong. What had she said or done that left this client feeling like what they have is a friendship? Very few people would thank their dentist or their accountant for their friendship. Interestingly, even though a dentist puts their hands in your mouth and your accountant sees your very personal financial information, most of us would not call these relationships intimate. We could certainly argue that the nudity or partial nudity aspect of massage raises the intimacy stakes, but as a person who has spent a lot of their massage career working with people who are partially clothed, fully clothed, or wearing a hospital gown, I don't think it's about the skin. It's about the connection. So, does my colleague have a friendship with her elderly client? Quite possibly. Does that mean my colleague has "poor boundaries"? Not necessarily. When we work with clients, we have the unique opportunity to do what's called co-regulation. When we co-regulate with another human (we can do this with pets too), our nervous systems connect in a way that supports a sense of safety. When humans feel safe, that safety alone can support essential functions of homeostasis while making us more willing to be cared for without fear of threat or danger.¹ I hope this is something you experience in many settings and relationships in your life, but the truth is that many people don't feel regulated or safe in the world. They Critical Thinking | Massage Therapy as Health Care KEY POINT • The proximity and interaction between client and MT can lead to a different interpretation by each.