Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/1501042
L i s te n to T h e A B M P Po d c a s t a t a b m p.co m /p o d c a s t s o r w h e reve r yo u a cce s s yo u r favo r i te p o d c a s t s 27 from a heart attack, several are dealing with smoldering cancer diagnoses. All of us are faced with aging, loss of our youth, symptoms, replacements, mortality. Everyone ages differently, but even the super-agers among us are changing with the passage of time. No matter what our style of aging, at some point in our lives, the tide turns, from a view of the future that is boundless, full of possibility, and open, to a realization that there are limits, losses, and endings. Sometimes this realization grows slowly; other times it comes with a shock. Some of us get bitter, some philosophical, some find ways around the feelings this realization can bring. But unless the end is very sudden, we will all be asked to face the fact that we aren't going to do everything, be everything, experience everything in life that we had looked forward to. Whether slowly or suddenly, we realize we are losing our body's youthfulness, and it isn't coming back. Of course, aging isn't all bad. Wisdom, perspective, and even a welcome detachment come with maturity. And, most people actually get happier with age: I was pleasantly surprised to learn that older people consistently score higher on happiness measurements, even with the physical challenges and loss that aging brings. 1 This might be because the way we deal with aging and loss is perhaps the defining aspect of our personal growth in the last half of life, and the issue that makes spiritual or philosophical considerations rise to the top in many older people's lives. But there's no silver lining to the inevitable loss that comes with being a body: no way to dress it up, make it nice, or ease the fact that at some point, we all lose our physical abilities, our youthful identity, and the life that those things had allowed us. And, said simply, loss is often just hard. So how does aging and the loss of our youth relate to being a bodyworker? Demographically, our client base is older, like the population as a whole. This also means there are many more older practitioners than just a decade ago. Certainly, the physical changes that come with aging inf luence the style of work older therapists want to do. No-effort, seated-versus-standing alternatives are very popular with older practitioners, and in both my work and in our Advanced Myofascial Techniques trainings, the watchwords have become "easier," "more comfortable," "more patient," "deeper," "no effort." I don't work nearly as hard as I did 20 years ago, and honestly, I see even more satisfying results. But the deepest professional impact of my wife's wee-hours grief is in the way I understand my clients' loss-connected pain. Whether it's with my teenage client wanting help with a knee injury so he can keep competing as a wrestler, or my septuagenarian client seeking relief for her ongoing back pain so she can get back to her walks, I'm newly sensitive to the additional layer of emotional pain that their "implied loss"—the feared loss of ability, identity, and possibility—might imply. When we can provide some physical pain relief, it can help ease the emotional pain of this implied loss. But even when it seems we can't change the physical pain, it can help to remember that our clients' pain is rarely only physical. And while there is no real "fix" for the existential pain of loss, even then, there is much we can offer. The listening, companionship, witnessing, and acceptance we practice as part of our work (and as part of also being bodies) are no small comforts, in and of themselves. Our bodies won't stay young forever. We're all vulnerable to injury, age, grief, and loss. Maybe at some point, letting go and being together is the best we can do. With grace, the poignant, bitter, and sweet tenderness of getting older is a place we'll all eventually meet up. Note 1. Marta Zaraska, "With Age Comes Happiness: Here's Why," Scientifi c American, November 1, 2015, www.scientifi camerican. com/article/with-age-comes-happiness-here-s-why. Til Luchau is the author of Advanced Myofascial Techniques (Handspring Publishing), a Certifi ed Advanced Rolfer, and a member of the Advanced- Trainings.com faculty, which offers online learning and in-person seminars throughout the United States and abroad. He and Whitney Lowe cohost the ABMP- sponsored Thinking Practitioner podcast. He invites questions or comments via info@advanced-trainings. com and Advanced-Trainings' Facebook page. VIDEO: "KNEE EXTENSION" 1. Open your camera 2. Scan the code 3. Tap on notification 4. Watch!