Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/1234356
shift in our own bodies. The quickest and simplest way is not by talking to the client and trying to rationally convince them to relax, and it is not by using fancy techniques or tools. It is by using your breath. Let your inhalation happen as your body needs, but then each time you breathe out, think of lengthening and softening that exhale. Your attention to a slow, effortless exhale will enhance that "rest and digest" half of your nervous system. That will help you stay relaxed and nonreactive, no matter how frustrating the client is. That slow, easy exhale will also help you slow down your strokes so that each will feel more engaged and intentional and satisfying. That feeling is contagious; your client will start to feel more satisfied because your work is more satisfying. Just as we can get revved up by a demanding client, so too can we calm down a demanding client—all without saying a word. We are always unconsciously picking up queues from the people around us—even when we're lying facedown and half asleep on a massage table. As you consciously slow your breathing, your client's breath will unconsciously follow yours. That slower breath diminishes their sympathetic arousal. As their unconscious body is less focused on fighting or fleeing, they are more able to feel the amazing work that you are offering them. Paying attention to your exhalation is a perpetual possibility within each session, a way of keeping your own body calm and connected, and a way of encouraging that client to be a little more at home and at peace in their own body. The End Is Everything Regardless of the style of massage you practice—or what techniques you use— pay particular attention to the end of your strokes. Allow your pressure to remain constant throughout the stroke, and then linger at the end of each stroke. In my experience teaching other therapists, a common habit we get caught in is to already start thinking about the next stroke we are going to do before we finish the stroke we are currently performing. We are trying so hard to make our sessions beautiful and seamless and flowing that our attention is constantly diverted away from the contact we are giving right here, in this moment. We are already preparing for that beautiful transition to the next stroke, to the next part of the body. Even though that distraction comes from the best intentions, it is still distraction. This habit is a particular problem with the demanding deeper client. Part of the reason they keep asking for more is because they too are not in the present moment. They are distracted by whatever else is happening in their brains, and distracted from the actual sensation of your touch. If we are distracted and they are distracted, then our work is just compounding the problem. When we are distracted, the end of the stroke can feel perfunctory or a little rushed. You might give a gorgeous effleurage down the paraspinal muscles, down into the tissue. This problem—of sliding, rather than sinking—is pervasive but easily solved. Use less oil (or whatever other lubricant you use). For more on this problem, see "Less is More: A More Effective Way to Use Lubricant" (Massage & Bodywork, January/February 2020, page 80). With too much oil, it is hard to actually contact the client in any sustained and meaningful way, because we are just slipping along the skin. Decrease the amount of lubricant you apply. If you have already slathered up your client, apologize and use a hand towel to wipe off the excess. You'll be surprised at how that tiny change instantly shifts the quality and depth of your contact. Notice that low, slow, less all build on each other—each one makes the others even more effective. Any of these alone are useful, but all three together are even more transformative. Used together, they enable you to engage more with the client while still taking care of your own body. Work with Your Exhale Along with your body weight, your breath is probably the most powerful tool you are not using. Your breath sets the tone and pace for your session, and unconsciously influences both your experience giving the massage and your client's experience receiving it. Here's why. As we know, the autonomic nervous system is beyond our conscious control. You can't prevent your pupils from dilating, stop your palms from sweating, or increase the rate of peristalsis, no matter how hard you try. But there is one exception: your breath. Your breath is the one thing that you can consciously control and that also impacts your autonomic nervous system. 3 Taking big forceful inhalations increases the firing of your sympathetic nervous system. (Think of the boxer before the opening bell, who is revving themselves up—who is literally trying to activate their fight reflex.) In the opposite direction, long, slow, easy exhalations increase the firing of your parasympathetic nervous system. It is difficult to decrease sympathetic nervous system firing in that demanding client if your own sympathetic nervous system is activated. We need to model that By enabling your clients to feel more of your touch, you enable them to be more at home and more at ease in their own bodies. N e w ! A B M P P o c k e t P a t h o l o g y a t w w w. a b m p . c o m / a b m p - p o c k e t - p a t h o l o g y - a p p . 75