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of the cradle and tell us they need more pressure!). But what is at work—what is always at work, every moment of our lives—is the autonomic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system consists of two halves: the parasympathetic branch— which we refer to as "rest and digest"—and the sympathetic branch—which we refer to as "fight or flight." These two halves are constantly at work, responding to every shift in our environment, trying to maintain homeostasis within the body. That homeostasis, however, seems increasingly tricky to find. Today it seems that our world is always on and constantly striving; we all walk around with endless to-do lists, and humble brag about how stressed out we are. It is easy, in this world, for the sympathetic nervous system to become overactive. Many of us, after all, seem to be perpetually fighting through (or fleeing from) the endless obligations that surround us. The innumerable ways stress impacts our physiology—from weight gain to depression to cardiovascular disorders—is enormously complicated and beyond the scope of this article. But as we can see in our own lives, and in those of our clients, it is much more likely these days to be doing and striving and accomplishing, rather than to be resting and digesting! There is no way to verify this, but I believe that, more often than not, the client that demands deeper pressure is already in this imbalanced state. In every one of us, both the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems are constantly firing to ensure the body's basic function. But we know from extreme cases—like people with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)—that the sympathetic nervous system can work too well—it can become stuck or overactive or hyperaroused. This overactive state does not require the extreme trauma of war or abuse that we associate with PTSD; it can happen just with the regular stresses of life. In short, these clients are doing more fighting and fleeing than resting and digesting. And their musculature manifests this imbalance. equation. We need to examine our work, and we need to examine our emotions. First, the work. Think back to the most recent annoying, demanding, never- satisfied client you had. It is possible that they kept asking for more pressure because you weren't giving them enough pressure. Every once in a while, we just phone it in. For some of us—especially those heading toward burnout—we phone it in far more often than just once in a while. So, be honest with yourself. During that aggravating session, were you distracted or not really engaged with the unique particulars of that client? Were you just going through the motions, massaging on autopilot? That client might have asked for more pressure because that is often the only thing a client knows how to ask for when a session doesn't feel right. It is possible that what they really wanted was your attention. They wanted to feel you actually engaging with their body, rather than just sliding back and forth over it, over and over and over again. We'll explore some ways to find your focus again. Once we see the outsized role of the sympathetic nervous system, we can better understand these clients. One of the most perplexing aspects of these "demanding deeper" clients is how different they are from one another. We often complain about the bulky guy with the football- player build—he is the obvious example of the client who is always asking for more pressure. But he is far from the only one. These clients run the gamut of body types and personalities. Some of my most demanding clients have been very petite women, often former dancers, with tiny frames and sinewy muscles, who seemed like they wanted me to excavate down to their very bones. What does this widely varied group all share? They are stuck in sympathetic nervous system activation. Working with this underlying element is the key, whether the client is towering or tiny. Check Yourself As we see this client differently, we also need to see ourselves differently. The reason we therapists spend so much time complaining about these clients is not just because of these clients. We are the other half of the N e w ! A B M P P o c k e t P a t h o l o g y a t w w w. a b m p . c o m / a b m p - p o c k e t - p a t h o l o g y - a p p . 71