Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/82405
the loss is permanent, and begins to adapt to a new life, integrating the reality of the changes into present life. The process of reorganization involves changes and adaptations on many levels. When the loss involves the death of a loved one, the survivor learns to reorganize her or his life physically, emotionally, and mentally without the presence of that special person. When the loss involves illness or disability, the person learns to adjust their physical surroundings, lifestyle, and health care to the current situation. Loss of one kind—either of person, place, or quality of life— involves changes in other activities and relationships. For example, persons who are injured in a debilitating accident may find it difficult or impossible to participate in once-enjoyable activities such as hiking or skiing. As they reorganize their lives, they might find other activities they enjoy that are less physically demanding. Or if they regularly participated in activities with a loved one who has now left or died, they can adapt by finding other people with whom to enjoy social activities. Reorganization and adaptation also involve an appreciation of the pleasant and/or valued memories of the past, while accepting the reality of the present circumstance. It becomes easier to celebrate and remember the past without feeling intense sadness. Many people learn the value of compassion, while opening to new possibilities for social connection with others who have suffered similar losses. As bereaved individuals adapt to the change, they may begin to feel improved self-esteem and mental clarity. It becomes easier to make decisions and engage with others socially. Physical exhaustion gives way to renewed energy and confidence. During this time, therapeutic massage can continue to support the individual who is adapting to change. As a massage therapist, you can appreciate and validate the client for the steps she or he is taking to reorganize their lives. VARIABLES IN THE EXPRESSION OF GRIEF While the grief cycle is portrayed here as one phase that occurs after another, it is not really a fixed process, either in length of time, intensity, or sequence of emotional expression. The cycle shows the range of experience of people going through the normal process of grieving. Not only do people vary in their responses to loss, they may respond differently to different losses. Multiple losses complicate the picture. A person may be in one phase with one loss and in another phase with another loss. Or the experience of one loss may trigger unresolved feelings from a prior loss. Individuals may think they have come through the cycle only to experience an upsurge of anguished feelings, sometimes around an anniversary, birthday, or holiday. ADAPTATION TO CHANGE As the individual moves through the process of grieving, she or he may realize that loss is neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. Change and loss are inevitable aspects of the human experience. The pain of loss may never fully go away, but individuals are empowered as they learn to adapt to change. Helen Keller said, "What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All we love deeply becomes a part of us." Her words illustrate the concept of healthy adaptation to change and loss. It is our role and privilege as massage and bodywork professionals to provide a safe, open-hearted, nonjudgmental, and reassuring atmosphere to the bereaved individual. authority in holistic health education and is internationally known as the developer of Comfort Touch nurturing acupressure. An ardent advocate for the needs of the elderly and the ill, she provides training and support for massage in medical settings. Her understanding of the bereavement process developed as she facilitated hospice grief and loss support groups. She can be reached at 303-651-9375 and www.comforttouch.com. Mary Kathleen Rose, BA, CMT, is an NOTES 1. Sigmund Freud, Mourning and Melancholia, The Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, 8th ed. (London: Vintage, 2001). 2. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, On Death and Dying (New York: Touchstone, 1969). 3. J. Bowlby, Attachment and Loss: Loss, Sadness, and Depression, vol. 3. (New York: Basic Books, 1980). 4. C.M. Parkes, Bereavement: Studies of Grief in Adult Life (New York: International University Press, 1972). 5. M. Stroebe and H. Schut, "The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement: Rationale and Description." Death Studies (April–May 1999): 197–224. Boost your practice with ABMP's Website Builder—free for members on ABMP.com 67