Massage & Bodywork

September/October 2008

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HEART OF BODYWORK care of myself, or for giving in to a manipulative client. Here are some examples of those flimsy justifications. I WANT TO BE NICE When I was a certified Rolfer, I had a client who was a massage school student and wanted a 10-session series. He wanted to stretch out the full payment for the series over several months, finishing up his payments some months after the sessions were completed. Although there were other options for a client on a tight budget, such as spreading out the time between sessions, I gave in to his plan. I wanted to be seen as benevolent toward future colleagues and there was a lost-little-boy quality about him that hooked me. It didn't work out well for me. As the work went on, he often cancelled at the last minute with a poor excuse. After we finished, he didn't make his payments on time and took a long time to pay off the debt. What went wrong? When we ignore the professional standards we have for ourselves, we invite clients to ignore them also. Clients may then start coming later, not paying on time, or being out of bounds in some way. I took this relationship out of a professional realm and into one where I fashioned myself as the client's special helper or perhaps a mother figure. It probably would have served him better if I had treated him like the adult he was and held him to the same standards as my other clients. When we do a special favor for a client or shrug off a client's consistent lateness or frequent last- minute calls to cancel, we sometimes tell ourselves we're being nice. In this instance, "niceness" can come from a fear of not pleasing others. Of course, we may have those fears, but we can't let them run our practice. When we ignore the professional standards we have for ourselves, we invite clients to ignore them also. I NEED THE MONEY I was working in Memphis, where World Wrestling Entertainment has a training ground. A wrestler called, wanting an appointment much later in the evening than when I like to work. In addition, rather than the usual series that might help him become more aware of his body and relieve broader tension patterns, he wanted just one session that would focus on an injured shoulder. His goals for the session—a quick fix that could allow him to return to wrestling—were contrary to my wish to help others learn to be kinder toward their bodies. However, I was having momentary financial concerns, so I agreed to see him. Halfway through the session, I asked him to stand up so I could see how his body was adjusting to the work. When the big guy sat back on the table, he landed like he was hitting the canvas. The supporting wires popped and the table collapsed. (Luckily another bodyworker in the office had a spare, which I used for finishing the session.) In the end, the cost of repairing the table was about the same as the fee for the session. (Alas, he didn't offer to help pay for the table.) So much for the extra income. It's difficult to say whether the client's lack of sensitivity was directly related to my own lack of sensitivity to my policies and values. Perhaps his behavior was more out of habit than out of disrespect. However, being off- center and insecure isn't the kind of emotional energy that I want to bring 126 massage & bodywork september/october 2008 to a session. I wasn't proud of myself or in any way pleased with the experience. Financial needs can be compelling, and it's tempting to think that they should come first. But, most practitioners find that exceptions made because they "needed the money" weren't worth it. I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND THE CLIENT I had a great deal of trouble with a client who was, as time revealed, mentally unbalanced. In the first session, she asked for a $5 discount and I gave it to her. I told myself it was a small amount of money and didn't matter, but the real reason was the woman scared me and I didn't want to cross her. Wouldn't you know? At the end of a series of sessions, she was totally unsatisfied. She ended up criticizing me all over town and even threatened a lawsuit until I gave her money back. This incident is the only threat of a lawsuit I've had in 20 years of practice and one of only a handful of clients who haven't been happy with the series. Looking back on the experience, I can see that things started to go wrong during the initial interview when I gave in to her wishes for a discount. Five dollars doesn't seem like much, but

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