Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/72121
BETTER COMMUNICATION, BETTER PRACTICE Submissive speakers depreciate themselves and minimize ownership or responsibility. Aggressive communication, on the other hand, has antagonistic, defensive, and hostile overtones. It suggests deep-seated fears and a strong attachment to ideas. Compare the following examples: Assertive communicator: "Afternoon appointments start promptly at 1:00 p.m. and end exactly at 2:00 p.m. I'm afraid you missed some of your appointment time." Submissive communicator: "Oh no, you're late! I'm really sorry but I have to end the appointment at 2:00 p.m. because I will get in trouble if I don't. I hope that's OK with you?" Aggressive communicator: "You're late again and my other clients will manage to be on time, so I won't be able to give you the entire hour." Clear, assertive communication leads to fewer hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and angry responses. Assertive communication is also important in dealing with minor conflicts. 1. State Your Expectations Let the other person know what you expect without using language that makes him or her feel judged or shamed. If a client refuses to fill in a health history form and says you do not need to know this personal health information to perform a massage, you might say assertively, "The policy at Sundance Massage Clinic is that we conduct a thorough health history intake process before we provide a massage to a client." Remember to avoid language that is judgmental or aggressive. 2. Provide a Rationale People like to know the reasons for things and why they should meet someone else's expectations. You might say assertively, "It's important to conduct a thorough health intake process to rule out conditions or medications that might make it unsafe for you to receive massage. The purpose is to ensure our clients' safety and comfort." 3. Describe Consequences Sometimes you must describe the consequences of a behavior in order to establish how sessions will run in the future. Assertively, you might say, "I cannot provide a massage unless the health form is finished accurately and completely." 4. Identify Obstacles Sometimes people have obstacles that make it difficult for them to meet the expectations of others. As an assertive communicator, ask clients about potential obstacles and invite them to share their views. You might say, "Can you explain why you would prefer not to fill in the health history form?" It may be as simple as the client saying, "I don't really mind filling out the form, but I forgot my glasses and I can't read a word of it." In this case, the solution is easy: you can read the form to the client and fill in the answers. 5. Clarify the Future Finally, it is a good idea to summarize the conversation and confirm the plan. You might say, "I think I understand you now. If I will read the form to you, you will fill it out?" The client agrees, and you can now proceed with the massage session with no hard feelings. Effective communication is much more than speaking clearly and looking someone in the eye. It's all the tangibles and intangibles that we and the client bring to the table that make communication one of the more difficult business tools to master. Yet, with clarity, intention, and thoughtfulness, your communication skills can become one of the greatest tools for bringing your clients back to you again and again. Note 1. This text is adapted from the author's textbook, Massage Mastery: From Student to Professional (Lippincott Williams & Wilkins), scheduled for release in February 2012. Anne Williams, director of education for Associated Bodywork & Massage Professionals, is the author of Spa Bodywork: A Guide for Massage Therapists and Massage Mastery: From Student to Professional. For more information, visit www.lww.com or contact her at anne@abmp.com. Celebrate ABMP's 25th anniversary and you may win a refund on your membership. ABMP.com. 73