Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/135515
Q & ART To a conscientious therapist, the "not deep enough" expressed by clients can be indistinguishable from the specter of "I'm not good enough." A major culprit of this fatigue is the one-hour format—and, more frequently, the 50-minute hour in many spas where therapists are expected to quickly clean the treatment room, in preparation for a conveyor belt of waiting clients. I much prefer longer sessions to spread the work out and concentrate on troublesome areas, but if that isn't possible, then skillful communication, negotiation of realistic goals, and spot work are necessities. eMotionaL faCtors It really saddens me to see how many therapists are such harsh critics of their own work. They become fatigued not from how hard they work, but from the emotional strain of self-criticism and trying too hard to please clients. To a conscientious therapist, the "not deep enough" expressed by clients can be indistinguishable from the specter of "I'm not good enough," especially in a field where we attempt to couple therapeutic benefits with the client's (sometimes misguided) standards of approval. As in all human relations, a certain chemistry is necessary between therapist and client. This is the art of our work, and it just doesn't happen with everyone; the clash of different energies can be emotionally draining. The simple truth is that some clients can be manipulative in their attempts to control the session or in implying that we are somehow inadequate if we don't fulfi ll all of their (sometimes unrealistic) expectations. If you worked just as hard on someone who gave you the praise you deserve, I wonder whether you would be as worn out? If we fi nd that we consistently are not looking forward to a particular client, or feeling exhausted or unfulfi lled after the session, it is good to carefully consider how we use our energy, but also to ask if we should continue the therapeutic relationship. Many therapists I speak with admit that if they had a full practice, they would probably extricate themselves from certain clients; however, they are hesitant to lose the income. That's not a good enough reason to sacrifice your own well-being. I also look at myself to see my part in the relationship. Rather than immediately running for the hills, it can be rewarding to stick with a difficult client for a while and work to see if you can fi nd a harmony that is rewarding, with growth on both sides of the table. eXit strategies On rare occasions, discretion is the better part of valor, and it is better to go in different directions. Most often, both parties will just sense it isn't a match. If this is necessary, it is very important to act with compassion and refrain from blame, keeping personalities out of it. A deep conversation is rarely productive; keep it simple, using broad terms about how the work the client is seeking is not your specialty, and even admitting that you fi nd yourself exhausted attempting to work at the requested depth. You may never know what it was that exhausted you, but both you and the client will probably be better off, and your other clients will appreciate the energy you conserve. Art Riggs teaches at the San Francisco School of Massage and is the author of the textbook Deep Tissue Massage: A Visual Guide to Techniques (North Atlantic Books, 2007), which has been translated into seven languages, and the seven-volume dVd series Deep Tissue Massage and Myofascial Release: A Video Guide to Techniques. Visit his website at www.deeptissuemassagemanual.com. 34 massage & bodywork july/august 2013