Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/1256819
N e w ! A B M P P o c k e t P a t h o l o g y a t w w w. a b m p . c o m / a b m p - p o c k e t - p a t h o l o g y - a p p . 67 of hours of repetition to perfect. But many of us come to this work having been told we have a natural talent or are a healer. When we carry that persona, it can be hard to admit we make mistakes. Haley Winter recognizes that most of his massage students won't have the comfort with failure that he carries from his baseball career. He notes that if we're afraid of failing we can't be present, and we'll miss vital cues. This makes us more likely to misstep, and less able to respond and recover. As he puts it, "You can't learn from a mistake that you won't acknowledge." So, in class, he talks openly about how he shows up around missing the mark, and he encourages each student to develop their own internal relationship with the inevitability of making mistakes. This helps them build resilience and trust that they can recover when things don't go as planned. One way to encourage a healthy relationship with missing the mark is teaching students how to give useful feedback to each other. It helps us become better therapists, and also helps us become better clients because we need to pay attention to what we're experiencing as someone practices with us. A simple format used in many of my trainings is asking recipients to tell their trade partners what they enjoyed or appreciated about the trade, and then offer suggestions for what might work better for them. Notice that this does not ask students to tell each other what they did "wrong," but instead to reflect on their own needs and how they might best be met. When we gather as a profession, I hope our conferences incorporate more opportunities for us to present our own M&Ms—cases in which we missed the mark—in a nonjudgmental forum. I'd welcome seeing keynotes and prominent panel discussions about ethics issues. Just as we present outcomes to promote the benefits of a protocol or technique, we should want our colleagues to know what does not work, what causes harm, and what we have learned. This can spare others from making the mistakes we have made. Let's Assume We're All Doing Our Best, and Accept that Our Best Won't Always Be Good Enough I hope this article starts a discussion that will continue beyond these pages. Let's find ways to come together to learn from each other and take the stigma out of missing the mark. We all make mistakes in our work. We all fail. It's how we respond to our failures that demonstrates our values and our true potential, and will move our profession forward. Notes 1. Steven J. Kravet, Eric Howell, and Scott M. Wright, "Morbidity and Mortality Conference, Grand Rounds, and the ACGME's Core Competencies," Journal of General Internal Medicine 21, no. 11 (November 2006): 1192–94, accessed May 2020, https:// doi.org/10.1111/j.1525-1497.2006.00523.x. 2. Haley Winter and Robyn Scherr, "Failure," January 2, 2018, in How's the Pressure?, produced by Haley Winter, podcast, MP3 audio, 39:20, www. howsthepressure.com/failure-w-robyn-scherr. 3. These two examples were provided by Debbie Higdon, ABMP's Risk Management Manager, in a phone call on March 2, 2020. 4. Project Implicit offers several self-administered tests on implicit bias. The results can be deeply informative, especially for those of us who consider ourselves to be unprejudiced. Project Implicit, "Home Page," 2011, accessed May 2020, https:// implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/selectatest.html. 5. If a client has never flinched on your table . . . are you sure you're being honest with yourself? 6. 6 Harmonies, "Practitioners," accessed May 2020, www.6harmonies.org/practitioners. Robyn Scherr is co-founder of Touch Advocates. Find out more at www.touchadvocates.com. Going Lighter Does Not Mean Being Safer A common misconception is that depth of pressure is what causes injury, and so if a client complains of pain during a session or flinches, it just means we've "gone too deep," and the solution is to "go lighter." But as Haley and I discussed on his podcast, we always aim to work at a depth that's appropriate for our client in the moment. Sometimes that is quite deep! The requirements for safety are being skilled in the techniques we employ, being present with our clients, and being in active communication with them (both verbal and nonverbal). Even practitioners of so-called "subtle" modalities can cause harm when they inappropriately use their techniques or don't maintain good communication with their clients. "Going lighter" is no substitute for being present and attuned.