Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/1078860
Here's how it went: the therapist never made eye contact with me. She led me to my room and took no information about my health, my challenges, or my reason for seeing her. We were 20 minutes into a 50-minute session when she asked me about pressure. And when I was supine, she was going over my shoulder and it really hurt, and she didn't seem to notice. And she was doing it over and over. I really should have ended the massage and said, "This is not working out for me," but I sort of wanted to see how far this might go. So, I started wincing really hard. She didn't notice. Then, I held my breath. Nothing. She was clearly in the wrong job. 2. GIVE EXACTLY THE SAME MASSAGE EVERY TIME If it works for one person, it will work for all of them. After all, the body on your table at 10:00 a.m. is essentially the same thing as the body on your table at noon, and also the same as the one you'll see at 2:00 p.m. Why go to the trouble of learning a variety of skills? 3. NEVER LEARN ANY NEW SKILLS You have enough to get started; that should be enough to keep you going through an entire career. Why muddy the waters with new techniques, new skills, new ways of thinking about your work? That's just a ridiculous waste of time. Clients really hate it when you're excited to share a new skill that might help them achieve their goals. 4. NEVER SEEK OUT ANY SENSE OF COMMUNITY WITH OTHER MASSAGE THERAPISTS You have nothing to learn from them, and they're only competition. In fact, it's probably a good idea to complain about other MTs to your clients, to make sure they always come back to you. 5. DON'T TAKE NOTES OR KEEP ANY RECORDS If clients are important enough people, you'll remember all the key details the next time you see them. And if not, who really cares? Clearly this client is not holding a significant place on your radar. And here are a couple of corollaries: A. If you work in a setting where more than one therapist might see the same client, be extra sure not to leave any useful information in their file. No one else needs to know about a recent sprained ankle or that they don't like to be in a face cradle. B. Writing "same" on your record card for a repeat client is plenty of information for any future reference. C. You can save yourself loads of trouble by simply filling out all your records for the day first thing in the morning. Who needs a pesky client to tell you what hurts anyway? This is a practice that also works well with sheet stacking: why change the sheets for every client? Just stack up your six bottom sheets at the beginning of the day, and then peel them off as you go. (I wish I could tell you I was making this up. I'm not.) 6. TALK ABOUT YOUR CLIENTS TO OTHER PEOPLE There are so many ways to make this work. It's always a hoot to name-drop your famous clients, for instance. I once was at a dinner where a massage therapist regaled the table with his funny stories about working with a famous person, and then he imitated her amusing way of getting on and off the table. It was just fabulous (fabulously inappropriate). 7. TALK TO ONE CLIENT ABOUT ANOTHER CLIENT Who wouldn't like to hear about your client who is a super-gorgeous, fit, and trim gymnast while receiving massage on their own imperfect body? And just because you freely discuss personal When people see someone with the title of massage therapist behaving like their work doesn't matter, it is much harder to make the argument that massage therapy is a respectable profession or that it is a useful option for health care and wellness. things about one client with another, I'm sure that no one would ever suspect that you might do the same with them. 8. POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA ABOUT TODAY'S CLIENT You know, the one who has stinky feet. Or hairy-back guy. No one will ever see Facebook or Twitter, right? 16 m a s s a g e & b o d y w o r k m a r c h / a p r i l 2 0 1 9