Massage & Bodywork

NOVEMBER | DECEMBER 2018

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operate through their first chakra, which regulates physicality. Someone using you for love will maneuver through the fourth chakra, which manages relationships. To help you better determine whether a client might be manipulating you, and in what way, the main body of this article will describe each chakra and cover the ways manipulators influence through them. I'll also present practical and psychological tools for defusing the resulting dangers, as well as examples from my own practice. Before presenting these characterizations, I want to share a few words about manipulative clients and why it's so important to spot one. Basically, manipulators seek to sway us through exploitation or distortion. True schemers will use any type of influence possible, regardless of the harm caused to others. 1 Giving into manipulation isn't healthy for us or the conniver, who might be operating consciously or unconsciously. This is because manipulators are essentially convincing us to give more than they are willing to give back. 2 The consequences on a practitioner can include anything from losing money or free time to being stalked and threatened. Responding to a manipulative client's prompts can also lead us to overwork ourselves, setting the stage for the many deficits caused by caregiver's syndrome, which include depression, anxiety, withdrawal from life, anger, insomnia, and numerous mental and physical health-care complaints. 3 There is also a cost to the manipulator. As long as they can coerce to get their needs (or perceived needs) met, they won't approach life head on. They might refrain from being vulnerable or honest; in addition, manipulators often fail to self-actualize. We want to meet our clients' needs but without a loss to ourselves. How do we spot and deal with manipulators gracefully and smartly? Take a look at what a chakra-based approach offers. CHAKRA ONE: RED Manages: Physicality, sexuality, passion, safety, money, and life energy Location: Hips Manipulator's Strategies First chakra manipulators range from clingy to dangerous. At one extreme, they might try to convince us that our assistance is necessary to their survival. They might pay exorbitant amounts of money to compel our attention, or conversely, pretend to be poor to get our services for free. When we don't respond, they might imperil our livelihood or peace of mind through bullying, yelling, stalking, or posting negative messages on social media. Some might make sexual advances and insist that we are the guilty party. When working on these clients, you might be aware of a significant loss of life energy and feel exhausted or drained when the session is over. Healer's Strategies Work in a secure office with others nearby. Be rigid about maintaining your work schedule and don't rely on a single client for most of your income. Use a contract to state which services you provide and which ones you don't. Refer overly needy or difficult clients to licensed professionals. Return money to clients who threaten you and then cut off all contact. If a client threatens you or threatens to commit suicide, call the police. If a client makes sexual advances, immediately end the session and record what occurred; call someone else to report what happened too. Clear up your own security issues. You have the right to be and feel physically, financially, and sexually safe in your own practice. Your practice won't fail if you stop working with a single client. Example A client started sending me letters saying he was going to harm me and my family if I didn't see him again. I called the police and then hired a lawyer to send a cease and desist letter. SECOND CHAKRA: ORANGE Manages: Feelings, creativity, and emotional empathy Location: Abdomen Manipulator's Strategies Second chakra clients use emotional manipulation to bend you to their will. They might cry, scream, or sound pitiful to get their way. Understand that most clients' emotions are real and shouldn't be invalidated. Become worried if a client insists that you and only you can alleviate their emotional issues and if your gut tells you their emotions are aimed at influencing you. Healer's Strategies If you feel overwhelmed or confused by a client's emotional presentation, refer them to a licensed professional. Give them an emergency help line number rather than deal with an emotionally challenging client alone. Consider booking appointments through email so you can avoid emotional entanglements on the phone. Deal with your own codependency issues and trust your own emotional reactions to a client. Don't rely on clients to meet your own emotional needs and avoid becoming the sole support of a client's emotional woes. Example I had a woman write six emails in an hour saying she was having a breakdown and I needed to see her immediately; I was booked several months out. I couldn't track her location so I had my assistant send her a help line phone number and say I wasn't qualified to meet her needs. Yo u r M & B i s w o r t h 2 C E s ! G o t o w w w. a b m p . c o m / c e t o l e a r n m o r e . 95

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