Issue link: https://www.massageandbodyworkdigital.com/i/1037165
"Wow, what a difference," Ms. Z. exclaimed. "In the first, it felt like you were doing something to me. In the second approach, I felt you listening with your hands. Because of that, it was also much more relaxing, in a way I am not sure I can explain." "Doesn't that go back to the rules of communication?" I asked. "Good listeners radiate a sense of nonjudgment and seek not to influence, but merely understand. In the presence of such an environment, we often find ourselves more comfortable with deeper self-disclosure, because we feel comfortable in doing so. This leads to an even deeper connection. What else might confirm that communication was successful?" "That the listener somehow gets what I am saying," Ms. Z. replied. "Absolutely. We need to feel that the other person understands our experience. In a vocal conversation, the listener might restate what was said to demonstrate understanding. From a touch perspective, that can be demonstrated by locating and confirming the exact area of restriction, like the spot I found earlier. I think your brain had a sense that I was listening, and I understood." "I certainly did," Ms. Z. agreed. "But what about speaking? I now understand how one can listen through touch, but what about the therapist being the speaker?" "What rules apply to be a good speaker?" I asked. "I suppose the most important is clarity," Ms. Z. said. "Agreed. More words don't facilitate understanding; clarity does. Let's do a similar experiment as before and see if you can tell the difference." In touch, every action should also be connected to a larger theme. At any point during the session, if you ask me what I'm doing and why, I should be able to explain how it fits into the overall theme. To begin, I performed several standard massage techniques on Ms. Z.'s back, mixing them in random order. In the second approach, I chose to start with the internal oblique muscle, and then briefly but thoroughly treated every muscle in the same kinetic chain. "That's just crazy," remarked Ms. Z. "The second approach was somehow clearer and more succinct, and I felt a powerful quieting effect on my nervous system." "I think that is because your nervous system sensed a theme. In good writing, every sentence of the paragraph should support and relate to the opening sentence. In touch, every action should also be connected to a larger theme. At any point during the session, if you ask me what I'm doing and why, I should be able to explain how it fits into the overall theme. In fact, I think people can sense that connection and, therefore, also sense when the therapist is spacing out." As always happens after a very connected conversation, there was a long period of silence as Ms. Z. and I both processed our conversation. Several minutes later, I began thinking that this exchange might be a great topic for the next Table Lessons story and began formulating it in my head. "Did you just space out a little?" Ms. Z. asked, interrupting the silence. Dang. Busted. Douglas Nelson is the founder and principal instructor for Precision Neuromuscular Therapy Seminars, president of the 16-therapist clinic BodyWork Associates in Champaign, Illinois, and president of the Massage Therapy Foundation. His clinic, seminars, and research endeavors explore the science behind this work. Visit www.nmtmidwest.com, or email him at doug@nmtmidwest.com. TABLE LESSONS Yo u r M & B i s w o r t h 2 C E s ! G o t o w w w. a b m p . c o m / c e t o l e a r n m o r e . 39